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Gadzooks – finally a proper post!

December 21, 2009

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A good few weeks back I promised a return to form. If ‘return to form’ meant not really writing anything and then popping on now and again to apologise, and then make a random comment about the word of showbiz, only to disappear for another few weeks… then I guess this is the perfect beginning of yet another return to form.

It frustrates me that I can’t seem to settle down to blogging again. This has not been a healthy blog for five months now – even my once wondrous Dave Tupper original masthead has gone squiffy in protest. If I were the type to do those crappy New Year’s resolutions, then mine would certainly be to get BMTV up and running again. I miss it. And I think some of you might too. The other day a friend of mine (who I consider one of the wittiest people I know) said he’d popped on here to see what I’d said of a certain show, only to find nothing. How flattering, but at the same time, gutting. But I guess general apathy is just one of those symptoms. Speaking of which, if you’re reading this now, please pop over to my Just Giving page afterwards and chuck me a few quid.


So much has happened in TV land this year that there’s no point even trying to reflect. I had wanted to do a round up of the decade too (as most publications seem to be doing), but as usual, the Watch With Mothers posse have done a most excellent (and extensive) one of their own, so check it out.

But what I will do is a good-old BMTV’s The Good, The Bad and The Ugly of the year and decade.


The Good

Nick Griffin on Question Time – good as it exposed him as the dumbass racist he is, but also bad because I’m sure NN’s demographic already knew this, and doubt those who voted BNP in the Euro elections watch anything but Jeremy Kyle, GMTV and Heartbeat.

Misfits – In a so-crap-it’s-good kind of way. The “cheeky chirpy one” is far too cheeky and chirpy, but I like how it’s basically Heroes with a tinge of Hollyoaks. Only on episode five, so we’ll see how it goes.

The Bad

FlashForward – What started as an innovative concept, set to be The New Lost(TM) swiftly turned into a lesson in how not to write a script: “What are you saying, Bob?” “I’m saying, Bill, that we could be responsible for that terrible catastrophe that just happened in the world.” Cue dramatic music. Dave and I spent most of episode 2 onwards trying to work out whether this was actually a comedy, and doing Benford impersonations (keeping your top lip as pumped up, but still as possible while you whisper, frowning). It got to the stage where cast members were literally killing themselves in order to leave the failing saga. We’re ‘on a break’ now til the spring. I predict it will not return.

The Ugly

Raymond Blanc’s strange choice of winner for The Restaurant – hmmm, a chef who can’t cook. I know ‘reality’ TV shows are now all about entertainment, but this was so blatant it was patronising. Not sure who it was more insulting to – the viewer or those poor 80s banker rejects.

Susan Boyle – not her, you knobbers. Just the whole way she’s been used. She’s an OK singer. But she’s been made a phenomenon because the nation feels guilty for thinking she’s ugly and therefore talentless. So if her success is down to her (presumed) mediocrity, that means she ISN’T that good (because if she was that good she wouldn’t need a gimmick – ie apparent ugliness – to get her success). So we were right to laugh at her. Sort of thing.


The Good

The first ever Big Brother – when they didn’t even know the theme tune!

Lost – still hopefully of a satisfactory conclusion.

The Office – the perfect sitcom

Flight of the Conchords – I’ll miss Brit’s jumpers, but I’m glad they saw the way of the Office and quit while they were ahead.  My faves from series one.

and of course

Dr Who –  yes, even with those RTD eps

Torchwood: Children of Earth – RTD is clearly a master (ho ho) at reviving flailing programmes and giving them a right kick up the arse into mainstream. Maybe he could give FlashForward a go.


Lead Balloon (yes I know it’s just Curb Your Enthusiasm, but I don’t care).

Peep Show

Gavin and Stacey (with the exception of series three)

The Bad

The way BB was turned into a Z-list factory

How TV schedules seem to roll from one reality show to the next: Celeb BB, dancing on Ice, BB, BGT, IACGMOOH, X Factor, Strictly…

Torchwood S1/2

The Ugly

The way Jade Goody was treated by BB chiefs – first a figure of ridicule, then the nation’s sweetheart, then a poster girl for reality TV, then a racist bully, then the queen of hearts. Just. Nasty.

Any kind of tasteless programming – The Boy with a Shed for a Brain, I killed and ate my Mother… That sort of thing. I didn’t see The Execution of Garry Glitter, but this Daily Mail-riddled peep show topped the lot. We’re better than this. Surely.

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