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June 18, 2009

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No doubt some of you will have read this new VIP scientific finding. Love that it’s still the second most-viewed article on the Guardian site. Under the whole Iran election thing, of course. Good to know the middle class hippies are more concerned with feline intellect than what’s going on in the world of MP expenses, the whole CEC, the climate, all that malarky.

Anyway, I’d like to take this opportunity to have an official “Bah!” at the findings. As one commenter notes, I bet the cats involved (who we all know are actually superior to us humans – even the really clever ones – and will one day rule the world) actually worked out what the sicentists were planning and decided to have a bit of fun.

“Ere, Greg!”
“S’up, Craig?”
“Those bloody scientists are doing expermients to see who’s cleverer – us or dogs.”
“Oh jeez,” sighs Greg (or it could have been Craig, most cats do look alike to be honest, especially if they’re the same colour, as Craig

and Greg indeed are), “Not that again. Tell you what, Craig, instead of proving that we are actually the most intellegent beings on the planet – ney – universe, how about we just fuck it and have a bit of fun with them? I can’t be arsed to bother today, and Countdown’s on it a bit.”
“Let’s do it!” said Craig.

Want further proof of cats awesome cleverness? Our old cat Bella (RIP) was so clever she’d actually talk to you. No, rilly. You’d come home from school and:

“Hello Bella!”
“How are you?”
“Well actually Sarah, I’ve had a rather boring day. I finished Kafka’s Metamorphosis in the morning and had forgotten to get another book from the library, so I’ve just been idly sitting around – although I did manage to catch a rather succulent vole after lunch, which I’ve laid out for your delectation on the doorstep. Do take a look when you have a chance, yah?”

One Comment leave one →
  1. June 20, 2009 10:36 pm

    Very funny. I liked this….

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