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September 19, 2008

So the outwardly gay couple are… erm… out, leaving closet gays (we think – please don’t sue) Alasdair and James to fly the flag for minorities this year. Father and Daughter team Harriet (she of freakish no-lip fame) and Mike are clinging on to their ‘restaurant’ The Blue Goose, off Oxford’s High Street (which is very near two pubs I used to hang out at in my yoof). God knows how they’ve managed to stay in – they’re terrible. Mike’s front of house is schizophrenically balanced between being utterly rude and impatient and licky licky.

Aaanyhoo, I suppose not listening to a French man’s advice on sorbet is a far worse crime than not having a top lip and being a bit inept, so the gays had to go.

The three wannabes on trial had to cater for service station users. Ignoring all advice, the gays went off on their own and cooked a feck load of chickens. Flower-lovers, Michele and Russell ignored advice about being disorganised and were… disorganised, leaving Harriet and Mike (under the firm guidance of star pupil James, of course) to cook portions (instead of school dinner-style slop) and rolled out a kick ass marketing campaign (which consisted of James scaring kids in an… Emu suit…). I’m never eating in a service station again.

My fave part of the show at the moment is where they introduce the inspectors. Week after week, Sarah is introduced as “Businesswoman Sarah Willingham” while David is introduced as “Perfectionist Restaurateur David Moore” – as if that’s his full job title. So is there a scale or something? Does it go from Pretty Indifferent Restaurateur Actually to Slightly More Bothered Restaurateur to fully fledged Perfectionist Restaurateur? It doesn’t reflect well on Sarah either. She gets no such epithet – does that mean she’s Not A Very Good Businesswoman? She’s certainly no perfectionist… Poor Sarah.


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