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Lemsip, Tic Tacs, Sugar Puffs and Potter

March 13, 2008

big_sir_alansugar.jpgJust a quick round up of my TV thoughts before a week’s break.

So The Apprentice Does Celebrity Sport Relief (or whatever it was called) was on last night. Not sure it really worked this time for a few reasons. One major flaw was that fact that Siralan hardly appeared at all, and he’s the jam in the Apprentice sandwich, you see. Without his looming presence and sarky, impatient thoughts it was just a load of celebs bickering about colours. Secondly, the task was dull. It was yet another ‘organise a party and sell stuff’ task.

I’d much rather see them schlepping to France to sell them black pudding, or designing a building to maxmise profits. This time it was very much, ‘who has the most rich contacts’. Louise Redknapp got her rich footballer mates involved with one kind man giving £100K for one ticket (this, instead of leaving me warm and fuzzy, made me angry that anyone can have that much money to throw around). Bernie Ecclestone promised to double whatever the Boys made, while his braying son (?) seemed to buy everything they were selling anyway, so it was really the Ecclestone Clan vs the Girls.

The Girls were clearly going to win from the start. As the Boys admitted, they didn’t have an adult on their team, and the Girls had Ms Anne Summers herself, Jacqueline Gold, so a retail task was going to be right up her street. Talking of streets, Kirsty Allsopp found herself in a very odd location location (see what I did there? I should so write for the Sun – er… that’s not a good thing, is it?), finally venting her pent up anger at Gold for being a control freak. And that’s another problem with the Celeb version. You just don’t see the winding up process because they’ve had to boil everything down to an hour. As far as I was concerned, Jacqueline just had a few comments to make about the logo and the decor of the shop. Fair enough; she was team leader and had the most experience.

Now on to Lemsip Opratt vs Hardeep. The only times I’ve seen Hardeep was when he did a very unfunny ‘comedy’ sketch about poker, in his reports for The One Show and an occasional documentary. I find him hugely unfunny (mainly because he thinks he’s sooooo hilarious) and very very annoying. His “It’s my japati and I’ll cry if I want to,” one-liner said it all really. Likewise, Lemsip comes across as being the wettest man in the world, slimey, awkward, creeping… My skin’s crawling just thinking about him. This is a guy who claims not to “have authorisation” to bargain with the Girls when he’d been appointed team leader. It’s no wonder the Lib Dems never win anything (nor ever will if they have people like him as their poster boy). In the end I had to side with Hardeep. Yes, Hardeep was being an attention-seeking prick, but Lemsip couldn’t lead an army of lemmings.

Did anyone catch his painfully embarrassing call to his ‘girlfriend’ one-of-the-Cheeky-Girls? I think it’s very clear she’s not actually his girlfriend, isn’t it? Seemed to me like she was treating him like some deranged fan or stalker. Oh, and his, “You’re like a Tic-Tac: you’ve given me a little lift…” to which she replied with a baffled silence. Eek!

As for who to sack, well of course the fault lies heaviest with the team leader. So it’ll be Lemsip and Hardeep in the boardroom, probably with Nick Hancock in for good measure – yes he was also in it, but you’ll be forgiven for not noticing him as he didn’t actually seem to do anything.

*****

In other news, I wonder what The Mighty Boosh make of this…

Shame they didn’t/couldn’t get the Boosh involved if that’s what they wanted to do as their marketing stretegy, as it just comes across as being a right rip off.

Also very happy about this. No cutting = good thing.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. March 15, 2008 8:09 pm

    Lembit’s on no wall of mine!

  2. March 19, 2008 5:37 pm

    I missed the final of this – who got bloody fired?

  3. March 20, 2008 7:25 pm

    you know what? i don’t think i care – i missed it too. i’m assuming it was hardeep.

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