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The BMTV Awards

November 2, 2007

The NTV awards the other night marks the end of another TV year for BMTV. They were, of course, the usual pile of predictable back-slapping and arse-licking. So instead of commenting on them, here are the inaugural BMTV awards.

>> The “You’re not mah muvvah! “Yes I am!” award for best culmination of a storyline
Nominees:
Hollyoaks – Rhys shags his sister unknowingly
Hollyoaks – The Sarah/Craig/John-Paul love triangle
Hollyoaks – Amy gives birth in front of unknowing dad and sister

Winner:
Amy gives birth in front of unknowing dad and sister – The look on Mike’s face said it all.

>> The Kerry Katona award for crazy, inappropriate and generally uncomfortable viewing
Nominees:
Kerry Katona, GMTV
Shabnam, Big Brother
Heather Mills, GMTV
Sharon Osbourne, NTVs

Winner:
Heather Mills, GMTV – Mucca swipes it from Katona at the last minute.

>> The Kinga award for most entertaining housemate
Nominees:
Shabnam
Shanessa
None of them they were all shit this year

Winner:
None of them they were all shit this year

>> The Ant and Dec award for being Ant and Dec
Nominees:
Ant and Dec
Ant and Dec
Ant and Dec

Winner:
Ant and Dec. Of course.

>> The GMTV award for best phone line cock up
Nominees:
Blue Peter
GMTV
Saturday Night Takeaway

Winner:
Blue Peter – purely because of the way BP finally lost its squeaky clean image

>> The Torchwood award for best damp squib
Nominees:
Torchwood
Desperate Housewives
24

Winner:
24 – how much longer can Jack come back from the dead and save the world? Enough!

>> The Leona Lewis award for most predictable talent show winner
Nominees:
Leona Lewis, X factor
That fat bloke with the sob story, Britain’s Got Talent
Brian, Big Brother

Winner:
Tie: Fat bloke with sob story. You gotta have a sob story.

>> Special recognition award
The cast of Heroes

>> Lifetime achievement award
Stephen Fry

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