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Return to the Den

October 16, 2007

Thank god for Dragons’ Den last night. I was starting to think that I’d run out of TV to talk about. But no, you can always rely on crazy, desperate people and haughty, self-satisfied millionaires to make good telly.

First up was David Beckham look-a-like Andy, who’s idea for a business was Double Dates, a ‘concept’ where people would hire out celebrities to do things like go to the shops with them, in order for them to ‘live the celebrity lifestyle’. Hmmmm. Well, Andy certainly was as eloquent as Beckham when it came to explaining his ‘concept’ with half the Dragons not really understanding it and half not really caring. And he did look a bit like David. If you squinted a bit. My tip though, Andy? Don’t take the shades off.

It was a good idea – essentially a looky-likey agency, except that Andy seemed to have plucked his figures out of the air when working out how much to ask for. Theo Paphitis visibly got more and more incensed each time he asked Andy, “OK, what are you going to do with £100,000 of my children’s money?” Theo has always been one of my fave Dragons (equal with The Bannatyne anyway) but last night, watching as he ripped into the ‘dried meat’ people for their appearance, he reminded me of that terrible programme where people came on to literally beg for money. Yes, the couple should have maybe worn smarter clothes, but their quirky image was a part of their brand, and he should have seen that instead of cutting them down. I didn’t see him telling Reggae, Reggae Sauce man to cut his hair and wear a suit…

On to New Dragon James Caan, hereby known as the Nice Dragon™. He’s the kindly uncle of the group, giving advice and always seeing the positives. Even when he got slightly irate with potentials (not to mention Peter Jones) he still kept an air of mild temperament about him. Good on him. They say you don’t go far in business if you’re not a ruthless piece of shit who wouldn’t hesitate to screw people over. Well, I beg to differ. I’m guessing Caan has got where he’s got making clever decisions and being a liked person, who people feel they can trust.

Of course, Peter Jones was the only Dragon who thought Andy’s Double Dates idea was fantastic. I was waiting for someone to chip in with, “Of course you do, Pete, you thought Tycoo was a good idea…” but it never came. Incidentally, have I ever mentioned how FECKING TALL Peter Jones is? He’s a giant! And of course, he is (in his own words) “seriously good-looking and wealthy” and therefore doesn’t need help with dating. Fnar.

Just a quick mention about the kids who wanted to create a Spring Break-style festival. Most universities put on an end of year Ball. It’s a time for everyone to get really drunk, fling their arms around their housemates (off who they’ve spent most of the year stealing milk and bitching that they always hog the bathroom and never do any washing up) whilst singing Coldplay or Travis or some other Really Emotional Song™. Anyway, hardly anyone attended our final summer ball at uni, so I can’t see many students trekking down to Cornwall (or wherever) just to stand in a field with other students – who they don’t know – and pay £65 for the privilege. Not when there’s Glasto and Reading and all the other billions of better-value-for-money festivals that are all squished into the summer. And that’s not mentioning all the free ones.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    October 16, 2007 8:17 pm

    I think Levi Roots did wesr a suit.

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