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Holly And Fearne Go. Please. Just Go.

September 6, 2007

Blind Date, Street Mate, Would Like To Meet… Three very successful dating shows, each with their own take on how to get beautiful (or in some cases not so beautiful people) to meet, shag and possibly, possibly result in Cilla buying another hat.

Why then have ITV subjected us to Holly And Fearne Go Dating? HAFGD is loosely based on Streetmate, the superbly energetic show hosted, way back when, by Davina McCall. She bounded around the streets, stalking potential suitors and chasing them down the street. She was ballsy, flirty and fun and a lot of the time, her matches ended in lurve.

I also remember a great dating show (the name slips my mind) where close friends and family had to choose potential suitors for a hapless singleton. A great angle if ever there was one (and one that proved that mums know best).

What HAFGD lacks is charisma (a word that seems to be cropping up with more frequency on BMTV these days). Holly is the ‘good’ girl. Quiet, lovely, nice… and dull (but great tits). Fearne is loud, thrashy, trashy, rockin… and dull. The whole show seems to be a chance for the two to show off their amazing wardrobes while driving around in Holly’s convertible.

The girl they set up last night was a striking 50s fashion-loving gardener with a rather over bearing mother. The girls trawled open mic nights and crusty festivals hoping to find her a quirky gentleman who also likes arts and flowers, and came up with two very ugly and unbearable men, each for their own reasons. Ben was the kind of bloke you’d chat to for two minutes before realising he was a total and utter knob. He thought he was the world’s wittiest man because he had wacky hair and wacky clothes. Simon was shy and quiet but essentially as dull as Holly who had chosen him.

In the end, the lady wisely decided to have her date (conveniently product placed at Hell’s Kitchen) with boring Simon but only as friends. So. A successful start, then ladies, eh?

Another problem with HAFGD is that they’ve clearly taken aspects of other dating shows, but they’ve taken the wrong ones. Their Streetmate steal is that they search the ‘streets’ to find the date. But they’re then narrowed down to only one man each. With Streetmate I seem to remember the datee in question had three or even four dates and then chose the best.

The Would Like To Meet steal is the ‘trying to work out why they’ve not had a successful relationship yet’ thing. But with WLTM this was done subtly and compassionately. Here, Fearne shouts (that’s her only volume) in her mockney accent about “Haaah da muvah iz loike way too invoved, loike,” while the angelic Holly looks on and nods.

The Blind Date steal is clearly the blind aspect, but again, they cock this up because there’s absolutely no suspense as to who she’s going to choose. Last night it was clear that she couldn’t stand another drink with Bizzare Ben, let alone a whole dinner date. And poor Simon just wasn’t her cup of tea.

Overall, it was an odd choice of presenters (even though they’re apparently “bessie mates, loike”) with a badly thought out take on what could have been a successful dating program.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Anonymous permalink
    September 6, 2007 11:25 am

    What are you talking bout – Ben IS the worlds wittiest man … you haven’t seen anything yet!

  2. Badger Madge permalink
    September 6, 2007 11:27 am

    You are Holly Willoughby and I claim my five pounds.

    Fabulous tits by the way…

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