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Snappy headline here

June 27, 2007

“Tony Blair uses YouTube to welcome Australian finance minister,” You think that’s a snappy headline? Yup, last night’s Tycoon saw the timely demise of Tom the paper boy. And about time too. I watched, cringing as he introduced reporters from the Sun, the Mail, the Guardian and the Mirror to his product; a newspaper for teenagers, funded with advertising. The hacks seemed pretty nonplussed and hurried away to perv over the glamour model or play with Iain’s toy helicopters. Tom was left a bit annoyed as he’d hoped one of them would have made the grand decision to agree to have it as a supplement in their rag each week. Oh Tom, Tom Tom… Silly boy. Surely you know that a reporter can’t make that kind of managerial decision. But evidently, he did. Silly naïve boy.

Jones saw Tom was struggling and took him aside. The pair came to the conclusion that Tom needed to go and speak to Piers Morgan (who, we found out last week was launching a rival to Tom’s paper – so why he needed to talk to him for advice, I don’t know…) to see if Tom could get his paper supplemented in a national newspaper – again, Piers isn’t an editor anymore so why him? Maybe because he’s a media whore? But instead of going to any of the media directors in the country, Tom decided to go to a photographer instead…

The episode’s highlight was Tom’s visit to Darryn Lyons, owner of Big Pictures and self-titled Mr Papperazzi. It was like watching a little mouse being ravaged (and then played with a bit. And then ravaged some more) by a starving, rabid tiger. Darryn didn’t mince his words. He tore Tom’s idea apart, arguing that teenagers don’t care about politics and instead insisted that Tom’s paper become a magazine that’s celebrity lead. So that’s Sneak then. Hardly an original concept and not what Peter Jones wanted me thinks. But it was with great pleasure that I watched Tom’s fall from grace. He’s a stupid boy who can’t be bothered to work hard and obviously doesn’t understand the world of the media. He deserved everything Darryn threw at him.

And what did Tom do? Did dust off his InDesign and get cracking, designing pages and producing copy? No. He the lazy fucker rang up an ex editor of OK and paid him £2,000 to do it for him, while he sat around and looked a bit bored. Silly, silly boy. He deserved to go. I just wish Peter had fed him to Darryn at the end and we’d be left watching him chew over ever last morsel.

Jones blatantly let off the glamour girl because she pouted a bit and occasionally gets her baps out (well, in the opening introduction anyway). She told him they’d make loads of money together, which obviously translated (in his head to) “Oh, come on Pete, I’ll drop me kecks for you round the back of Tycoon Tower if you keep me in.” Poor Tom couldn’t exactly have used that argument – however much he might have wanted to, eh Tom?!

Special mention to Toff’s toff Elizabeth who seems to spend most of her time on the programme crying about the fact that she’s working her arse off and not getting any credit. Her highlight this week was crying because she didn’t get to see Paul McKenna. Fabulous stuff.

Still, it’s much better than watching Gordon Ramsey cooking sheep’s brains or whatever he was doing last night.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Swineshead permalink
    June 27, 2007 10:24 am

    It’s like the Apprentice with three quarters of the budget slashed. As a result, it’s bloody great!

  2. Clair permalink
    June 27, 2007 3:49 pm

    Have you seen that ITV are editing further shows down to half an hour due to it performing so badly?

  3. Badger Madge permalink
    June 27, 2007 3:51 pm

    Yeah. I’m not so keen on half-hour shows like that though. It’s OK for a soap, but I like a meaty reality TV. They’re also axing the Tough Gig series, which I’ve really enjoyed (apart from the Arabella Weir one where she was just rude atr them the whole time).

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