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Wolf in Sloan clothing

May 17, 2007

If Sir Alan (The Apprentice, Wednesdays BBC1 9pm) is “looking for an all-rounder” as his aid Margaret put it last night, then may I point his attention to chubby-jowled, 80s throw-back Katie, who thinks she can pull of Diana-esque demure while also wishing her rivals painful (if not ironic) deaths. You have to admire her for that.

Sir Alan should also note her talents at stabbing people in the back. Oh, she’s multi-talented at that, yes siree. Last week we saw how she can stab someone in the back by being very vocal about what they’re doing wrong. Pointing out their mistakes ansd refusing to help them when they need her. But that’s easy. Even Tre can do that. No, Katie skills sink to greater depths than that. Last night, she demonstrated how to stab someone on the back whilst seeming to support them all the way.

Poor Ghazal. Even her name suggests some gentle fawn caught in the headlights of Katie’s mean stare. But if you were given a task that required you to market a brand and you had a marketing brand manager on your team (or whatever Katie claims to be – we know really she’s the devil incarnate) of course you’re going to follow her every word, even her every breath. It was with great ingenuity that Kaite lead Ghazal, Pied Piper-esque down totally the wrong path while Mannish Kristina and Private Schoolgirl Naomi could only gawp from the sidelines, aghast at Katie’s evil scheme. Of course, they could have pulled Ghazal aside at any point to take a grab at those rose-tinted specs she was so fond of wearing throughout the series, and give it to her straight. But by that point, Katie had spun her evil web of deceit and Ghazal was totally in her grasp.

I’m actually beginning to warm to the woman. Anyone who can carry out such obvious flirting has balls. Especially with Sir Alan. Plus, I’m quite looking forward to her descriptions of the ways she’d despatch her rivals. From choking on ones own foot (having placed it in one’s mouth you see) to being run over and killed by the very second-hand car you’d just sold, she certainly has imagination. Again, another strength for Sir A. She’s also rocking the 80s Sloan look (set to be big next Spring/Summer, just you wait and see) to perfection – so she’s ahead of her times.

And here’s where I’m going to put my neck on the line (I’m sure Katie can come up with a suitable ending for me) and give you guys my final four:

Simon (he’s so Street)
Kristina (of course)
Naomi (it’s always the quiet ones)
Lohit (played the game to perfection so far)

I’m tempted to sub Lohit for Katie but she’s been in the boardroom so many times now I’m not sure Sir A will keep her much longer. Jadine and Tre are just big personalities and their short tempers are bound to let them down in the coming weeks.

Who wins? Well I think it’ll be a toss-up between Simon and Kristina… And I think we’re going to have a male Apprentice this year… So it could be either of them.

Boom boom!

2 Comments leave one →
  1. swineshead permalink
    May 17, 2007 9:13 am

    I’m still hoping Jadine can do it. She’s won two tasks as Project Manager (I think) and she hasn’t ever performed really badly…

    Come on Jadine!

  2. Rich permalink
    May 17, 2007 9:25 am

    I’ve not read all of that post yet because I’ve yet to see the show, but I’d love to bury an axe in Katie’s head just for her anti-Northern comments last week, aside from everything else.

    Have you noticed she looks like David Walliams in drag? Given the choice I think I’d rather shag Walliams, I’d hate Katie to think I found her attractive.

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