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Dear Elvis, thanks for the toilet paper…

April 17, 2007

To borrow slightly from those Monty Python chaps, being a Kike, a Yid, a Hebe, a Hook-nose, Kosher and a Red Sea Pedestrian and proud of it, I was very interested in Blue Suede Jew, a documentary about a Jewish Elvis impersonator (BBC2 Monday 16th April).

And what classic TV it was. Hate to be racist, but only a Jewish man could provide this much comedy (hey, we do make up most of the comic community you know). For those who decided to watch the foxes over on Ch4 instead, the documentary followed Gilles Elmalih and his family as they found their way from the West Bank in Israel to his entry into the ‘World Cup’ of Elvis look-alike competitions in LA.

But Gilles isn’t your normal run-of-the-mill impersonator. Oh no. His son is a medium and can actually channel Elvis through his bod. Imagine that. Apparently, ‘Elvis’ can only be talked to in Hebrew. Yes, Elvis, that famous reader of the Torah and yarmakah-wearer. Gilles wife is a prolific writer of letters to Elvis, whose replies arrive into the household on rolled-up bits of paper, thrown from heaven. In one hilarious scene, the family have upped sticks and have moved to LA, with no jobs and no income, surviving on the kindness of strangers. Or should that be world-famous rock ‘n’ roll gods? Gilles bizarre wife (who looked like a cross between Nancy Del Olio and ‘Rackie’ from Celeb Big Brother) explains, in all seriousness, that Elvis brought them toilet paper. Incidentally, Gilles has no photos of his family in his house. Only Elvis. Which might go some way to explain his son’s bizarre behaviours if you know what I mean.

Of course, any mad Jewish Elvis documentary wouldn’t be complete without mad Jewish Elvis fan, Uri Gellar, who was called in by the documentary-maker. The producers asked Gellar to call Gilles, saying Elvis had to him to – which is really unfair on the guy! Everyone in his life seemed to be lying to him in some way or another and his total faith in The King meant that he trustingly believed them. Silly sod. At one surreal stage you had Uri Gellar sitting next to an Elvis impersonator, talking on the phone to a teenager who’s in trance and being taken over by the real Elvis, discussing the sale of Elvis’ house! And the teen didn’t even know his ‘own’ twin brother’s name! Ha!

The whole thing was ridiculousness after ridiculousness and I’m not sure their Jewish brethren would approve of them holding séances at their house. I was left feeling very sorry for the son who obviously concocted the whole thing just because he wanted a bit of his father’s attention. Here’s hoping that someday soon, ‘Elvis’ will send a message to Gilles to stop this nonsense and focus on the here and now.

Loving the title of the documentary and it lead me to think up some Jewish Elvis puns of my own:

Always on My Mezzuzah
Are You loch in kopf Tonight?
Blue Jew Of Kentucky
Can’t Help Falling in Lev
Falashas Rush In
Haggadah Hotel
Love Me Kosher

Any others?

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Clair permalink
    April 17, 2007 3:21 pm

    Missed it, due to forgetting it was on. Which explains a lot. But, with my Woody Allen yarmulke on:

    Schleppin’ Around
    It’s Now or Liver
    My Goy
    Mystery Chrain
    Good Baruchin’ Tonight
    Nu? Orleans
    In the Matzo
    A Fress of Blues
    Lawdy Bris Clawdy
    Bubkisssin’ Cousins

  2. Badger Madge permalink
    April 17, 2007 3:32 pm

    Good… good!

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