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"But she’s tiny already!"

March 8, 2007

“Oh, she did it then…?” said Mr Badger, wandering in five minutes into The Truth About Size Zero With Louise Redknapp last night. “No,” says I. “She’s just starting the diet. She’s a size 8 at the moment.”
“But she’s tiny!” he gasped, clearly appalled at how anyone could get any smaller. It’s moments like these that I think Mr Badger must be the wisest man in all the world.

It’s not exactly an original concept at the moment. I’ve seen five magazines so far with features on a journalist trying to get to a size zero. Admittedly it was probably easier for Louise, starting out at an already teeny size 8, but watching the sweat and tears (and maybe some blood, I’m not sure, Mother Badger called in the middle to tell me how terrible it all was, thanks mum) it was plain to see that even tiny Louise was in a battle. Louise herself remembers when a size eight was freakish. Back when women who were a size 12/14 were considered healthy and not (as seems to be the case now) fat.

The women who has graced the top of many a Sexiest Woman in the World list made some very valid points though. Women have been shrinking for centuries, from the bouncy beauties of the middle ages where being big was a sign of wealth to the stick-thin lollypop ladies of today (it’s a sign of success apparently). Louise pertinently asked, “what’s going to be left? not a woman…” And it’s true. I remember debating with my friend when we were 16 about the fact that she thought she was too curvy. “Men love curves though,” I told her. “No one wants to go out with someone who looks like an 11 year old. Grown-up men like curvy women because curves are a sign that women are mature enough to have kids. It’s like a natural caveman instinct thing.”

But all this is bollocks these days. I can count on one hand the number of my male friends who prefer curves. The rest seem to go for skinny unhealthy-looking prepubescent sluts. Pass me the cake.

But it’s a scary thought that women are literally disappearing. Hate to get on a feminist rant, but women have fought for years to be seen and heard, and now we’re actively trying to disappear. It doesn’t make sense.

By the end of the ‘documentary’ Louise was gaunt, pale and had a very visible fur over her face. Her eyes were too big for her head and although she did eventually fit herself into the size zero dress, she didn’t fill it out. She had lost her sexy curves. She was miserable, she couldn’t concentrate or hold a conversation, she wasn’t as chirpy as she was at the start of the programme and her marital and family relationships were strained. So much to lose for dropping a dress size or two. Hmmm… That’s hot…

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. Rich permalink
    March 8, 2007 10:20 am

    Men DO love curves. For some reason Nuts, Zoo, FHM et al brainwash men without a mind of their own that you may only find women of size 12 or under attractive.
    The words of neanderthals like Chris Moyles are extremely unhelpful. It must really hurt his knuckles to have them scraping along the ground like that.

  2. Badger Madge permalink
    March 8, 2007 10:30 am

    Go you Rich! You’re obviously as wise as Mr Badger.

  3. Clair permalink
    March 8, 2007 1:11 pm

    What I found really creepy about the show – and that other one on BBC Three – was that awful Bootcamp Barry, who’s obviously made a fortune from these silly women who want to disappear, and was laughing like a lunatic.

    I think you may be right about younger guys getting a skewed view of women – the first nudie girls they see aren’t the fleshier pinups of the past, but the rather too skinny girls in Nuts and Zoo, so when they see a real woman, they’ll recoil in horror. I always thought that men who liked girls who look like boys were either
    a) Damon Albarn
    b) Frightened of women, so choose a woman they can dominate

  4. Rich permalink
    March 8, 2007 1:27 pm

    Thank you, I try.

  5. swineshead permalink
    March 8, 2007 3:04 pm

    Just sticking my head in to agree with Rich. Toodlepip.

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