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Not *that* crap you know…

February 21, 2007

Must just point out how sterling Hollyoaks is at the moment – No! Don’t click away. Bear with me a bit and I shall explain why.

Yes I know it’s trashy, but a) it’s actually better than other ‘trashy’ shows I could mention and b) right now there’s some hot shit going down and I’m not just talking about that fit one what runs the beauty salon.

The Kris/Jess/Will/HIV storyline is showcasing three very varied performances. I’ve not really bonded with the character of Kris until now, mainly because the actor doesn’t put his eyeliner on properly (and any trannie worth their Louboutins would have great eyeline-slicking ability). Oh, and I also hate his flappy lips, which I know is not a good reason for disliking a character, but every time the camera’s on him, I feel a bit queasy. Surely no one with lips like that should enhance them with a slick of gloss no? The recent kissing scenes between him and Jess really made me worry for the girl. Any moment he’d suck her face off, plunger-style, and she’d be left with nothing but a blank head.

Anyway, to be fair to the bloke, he’s doing really well, giving a moving portrayal of someone who doesn’t know where his future lies. (I said portrayal. I’m so high-brow). Speaking of which, Jess (or rather her actress lady – damn, back into low-brow mode again) is more middle-of-the-road. The other night her two-hander with Kriss was great. But other times, she’s wooden and annoying.

And Will? Well let’s not concentrate too much on him shall we? I think that actor must only have two facial expressions. Blank. And blank with a slight smile (and not even a very good evil smile). Even the bloke who got a role by entering a competition was a better actor than him and that’s saying something.

I remember the days when Hollyoaks villains were dastardly, evil chappies, who kidnapped people and dumped them in a big dark indoor pool (what *was* that, does anyone remember?), or stuck them in a bus and blew them up, or got them addicted to Heroin (was this *all* Hawthorne, by the way? God, what an evil sod he was… Shame he’s dead.) Now the villains just mildly threaten to take all your money (whilst not realising that they don’t have a leg to stand on, having just tried to kill the person they’re threatening)…

But anyway, back to the praising bit. Lots going on in Oaks atm (take note Enders folks – non of this boring devil-child hates Dad’s girlfriend nonsense). Can’t wait to see what happens to Amy and her ickle baby and let’s have more on John-Paul and his unrequited love (preferably without his top on please).

*And thus, she gives up any hope of this being a high-brow blog*

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