I’m a Celeb… Beam Me Up!

Another year, another I’m a Celeb… – how fast the years go by… Aaaanyway. It’s not on til Sunday, but by now most people will have broken the embargo so I think it’s safe for BMTV to reveal to anyone who doesn’t know who the massif junglists are…

Esther Rantzen (journalist)
She’ll be the craggy, angry older lady then.

Robert Kilroy-Silk (politician and television presenter)
Oh jesus! Who gives this guy air time, really? Willing to take sweepstakes on how long it will take him to mention the Euro or immigration…

Carly Zucker (model and personal fitness trainer)
Nope. Me neither.

Simon Webbe (singer)
Him off Blue. Not the one who’s shagged everyone or the one who looks like Joey off Friends. Or the one who thinks whales should rule the world.

Martina Navratilova (tennis legend)
Now we’re talking! Someone interesting, who actually has a few stories to tell around the camp fire.

Joe Swash (actor)
He of the squeaky voice and ginger pubes.

Dani Behr (TV presenter)
Let’s hear it for the 90s! Although can she still be regarded as a presenter after 15 years?

George Takei (Heroes and Star Trek legend)
Hell yeah! This is the best news I heard all week. Awesome choice. Let’s get him and Navvy together and just listen to their tales.

Brian Paddick (Ex-Deputy Assistant Commissioner for the Metropolitan Police)
Er… Celebrity? ITV sunk to lower depths I see.

Nicola McLean (glamour model)
Erm… See above.

So there we go. No Rolf Harris; no Timmy Mallet yer again – when are they ever going to make it off the reserve list eh?

Best make sure Kilroy doesn’t do any trials with nasty, slimey, ugly things. Ant & Dec won’t know who’s who…